The Choosing Practice: Rewiring the Way We Speak to Ourselves

Affirmations have long been offered as a tool for transformation. The idea is simple: if you repeat “I am confident” often enough, eventually you’ll believe it. Yet for many of us, that practice never quite landed.

Why? Because the words felt like a costume we were trying on in front of a mirror  ya know...... too tight, too loose, or simply not ours. Saying “I am abundant” when you’re staring at overdue bills doesn’t inspire change. Instead, it often sparks an inner whisper: “That’s not true.”

At Hallowed Living, we call this the gap of dissonance  the concept of  when words and reality are too far apart to feel believable. For years, many of us tried to leap across that gap with sheer repetition, only to fall back into old patterns.

Then something shifted. Inspired by one of our trusted mentors Tia Marie at Sinatia, we reframed the practice entirely. Instead of trying to force an identity that wasn’t ours yet, we began using the language of choice.

We call it The Choosing Practice.

Why Choice Works Where Affirmations Fail

Science offers us a map here:

• Cognitive Dissonance (Festinger, 1957) shows that when our words and reality clash, the brain resists.

• Self-Verification Theory (Swann, 1983) reminds us that people are more likely to accept statements aligned with their current self-view.

• Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) demonstrates that autonomy and choice fuel motivation more effectively than forced beliefs.

In short: your brain doesn’t like being lied to. But it thrives on agency.

When you say “I choose calm in this moment” instead of “I am always calm,” you bypass resistance. Your prefrontal cortex (the decision-making center of the brain) lights up. You create a small, doable step .....and each time you live into that choice, your brain rewards you with a hit of dopamine. That reward loop strengthens over time, creating new neural pathways.

From Words to Rhythms

Think of it this way: traditional affirmations can feel like planting a tropical flower in dry soil. No matter how much you water it, it doesn’t belong there.

The Choosing Practice prepares the soil first. Each “I choose” statement is a seed matched to your ecosystem. Over time, choices take root. Patterns emerge. Rhythms build. And eventually, what began as choice becomes truth.

How to Practice Choosing

1. Start small. Choose one or two statements each day.

   • “I choose to pause before I react.”

   • “I choose nourishment instead of rushing.”

2. Keep it aligned. Choose statements that meet you where you are — not so far ahead that your brain rejects them.

3. Notice the evidence. Each time you live into the choice, acknowledge it. That’s how the reward loop strengthens.

4. Let rhythms grow. Choices lead to patterns. Patterns lead to creation. This is intentional living in motion.

Why It Belongs to Hallowed Living

The Choosing Practice is more than a self-help trick — it’s part of the foundation of Hallowed Living. Because we believe:

🔍 Curiosity is a compass. Asking “what do I choose today?” keeps us curious.
🧠 Systems must serve the people. This system meets us where we are, not where someone tells us we should be.
🌱 Community is infrastructure. Shared language of choice builds connection.
🔮 Choice is sacred. Every intentional choice shapes the life we truly want.
🌸 Reclamation is our birthright. When we choose, we reclaim our agency.

The Choosing Practice honors the sacredness of living by giving us tools that feel real, actionable, and human.

Because at the end of the day: living isn’t about pretending to be something we’re not. It’s about choosing — again and again — to become who we already are at our core.

✨ A Reflection Question for you:
What is one choice you want to make today that feels aligned with your true rhythm?

- The Hallowed Crew